We will NOT perish without a fight
This is not about gender equality. It is about people. But about people with breasts and a vagina. Forgive my crudeness. So then, it does become about the whole 'redundant' gender topic now, doesnt it?
" Its not like someone is raping you, is it? Wonder why women make such a hullabaloo about it."
Well let me tell you why. It breeds a feeling of self disgust. "It is the girl's fault, of course." The whole psychology of taking responsibility for everything, being a martyr. So girls, women, ladies- stop blaming yourselves and ask the moral police to find a new job.
I remember this particular incident(out of the very many). I was 11 years old taking swimming lessons during summer. I was quite independent and used to get back home in ~6 in the evening after classes in a rickshaw. Quite a popular mode of transport in Bangalore. So I got into one of those as usual, with a chatty driver. In the first few minutes, I knew something was wrong. Well, no it wasnt because of the infamous woman intuition but just that I had a normal olfactory system. The guy had been drinking.
"So you go swimming eh? All little girls running around in swimsuits", said the rickshaw driver.
No reply.
"Are you in a hurry to go home? We could go somewhere else" and turns the auto in another direction.
Panic.
I bolted out of a running rickshaw. I did!! I ran to a nearby bus stop and sat there. Thankfully, there were many people. I was trying hard not to cry in public. The driver followed me...trying hard to walk. The rickshaw guy was saying lewd things. There was a man sitting next to me at the bus stop who didnt budge and looked away. We dont see evil like the Gandhian monkey right?A woman spoke up. She yelled at the guy and asked him to leave the place. She consoled me and asked me to take another rickshaw back home. No more rickshaws for me that evening, thank you very much. She said she was going in the same direction and told me that I could take the bus with her. I reached home and burst into tears. Sobbed out the whole story to my mom and didnt dare breathe a word to my dad. Wonder why now.
After that incident, I am always on guard. Paranoid even.
At one of the girl 'pyjama parties', I was shocked to hear so many stories from my friends..being molested by relatives when they were kids! Apparently, it is not that uncommon. People just dont talk about it. And most girls blames themselves.
Women's day doesnt mean anything to me. But if people are going to become more aware of the world they live in because of one day 'dedicated' to women, so be it. That doesnt hurt or annoy. Unlike the lewd comments, stares, arse pinching, verbal absuses...oh the list is endless.
I just hope more women find the strength first.... in order to find their voices.
" Its not like someone is raping you, is it? Wonder why women make such a hullabaloo about it."
Well let me tell you why. It breeds a feeling of self disgust. "It is the girl's fault, of course." The whole psychology of taking responsibility for everything, being a martyr. So girls, women, ladies- stop blaming yourselves and ask the moral police to find a new job.
I remember this particular incident(out of the very many). I was 11 years old taking swimming lessons during summer. I was quite independent and used to get back home in ~6 in the evening after classes in a rickshaw. Quite a popular mode of transport in Bangalore. So I got into one of those as usual, with a chatty driver. In the first few minutes, I knew something was wrong. Well, no it wasnt because of the infamous woman intuition but just that I had a normal olfactory system. The guy had been drinking.
"So you go swimming eh? All little girls running around in swimsuits", said the rickshaw driver.
No reply.
"Are you in a hurry to go home? We could go somewhere else" and turns the auto in another direction.
Panic.
I bolted out of a running rickshaw. I did!! I ran to a nearby bus stop and sat there. Thankfully, there were many people. I was trying hard not to cry in public. The driver followed me...trying hard to walk. The rickshaw guy was saying lewd things. There was a man sitting next to me at the bus stop who didnt budge and looked away. We dont see evil like the Gandhian monkey right?A woman spoke up. She yelled at the guy and asked him to leave the place. She consoled me and asked me to take another rickshaw back home. No more rickshaws for me that evening, thank you very much. She said she was going in the same direction and told me that I could take the bus with her. I reached home and burst into tears. Sobbed out the whole story to my mom and didnt dare breathe a word to my dad. Wonder why now.
After that incident, I am always on guard. Paranoid even.
At one of the girl 'pyjama parties', I was shocked to hear so many stories from my friends..being molested by relatives when they were kids! Apparently, it is not that uncommon. People just dont talk about it. And most girls blames themselves.
Women's day doesnt mean anything to me. But if people are going to become more aware of the world they live in because of one day 'dedicated' to women, so be it. That doesnt hurt or annoy. Unlike the lewd comments, stares, arse pinching, verbal absuses...oh the list is endless.
I just hope more women find the strength first.... in order to find their voices.
posted by Crouching Tigress | 4:07 PM
17 Comments:
sad state of affairs... and bangalore seems to be getting worse... i heard some pretty bad things when i was down there last year.... it sucks...
btw, you might want to check out the 'Blank Noise Project' post by m(tread softly upon)...
:-(
http://knownturf.blogspot.com/2006/03/streets-stories-strategies.html
hmm... we all have our lille stories which wud join n become an ocean i am sure
and yeah if Women's Day helps atleast one woman in the entire planet itz definetly worth it.
Evry single girl/woman I know has atleast a couple of these incidents to narrate.
How sad is that??
Thanks for the comment on my blog. :)
I had a similar "pyjama party" experience. It was sad and shocking--ALL of us had stories to tell and we all wept afterwards. But that sense of bonding with my friends (and the fact that we talked about the ghastly things we had never told anybody before) is a feeling I still keep with me even after all these years.
While nobody needs such psychological setbacks, it's nice to see women around the world making their voices heard... You'll NOT perish.(PERIOD).
Unlike many other pseudo sympathisers, I actually practise gender equality. That means, I do NOT open doors for women, I do NOT pull chairs out, and I certainly do not leave the toilet seat up. You've got hands... put it down yourself. But, I also believe that women are capable of anything men are, and I give them the same latitude and at times inflexibility. Almost all my friends are women, simply because usually, I prefer the company of women, to men, and not because I'm sexually interested in them, but because they're far more interesting conversationalists ( usually ) than men. I treat women with respect. Why can't women treat MEN with respect ?
My friend, hours after a movie, told me "That guy next to me was touching me". Considering we swapped seats because her previous neighbor looked "shady". She went on to tell me in graphic detail about all that women endure. I hate that day. I hate the fact I couldnt get my hands on him. I hate the fact she sat through that ordeal not speaking a word. I truly feel ashamed. Not some antiquated feeling of chivalry or protection (women are more than capable of looking after themselves), but its so damn shameful to live in a sex starved society. Not that its any lesser in any other culture/country.
>>fosix
Tell me about it! My city is changing so fast in so many ways..I can hardly recognise it.
>>deppe
Read it long back.
>>swathi
Oh yeah!
>>fingers
Well yeah, its so sickening. Thats one thing I dont miss about Bangalore. Here, I can walk around till around 10 in the night without having to watch every move of mine.
>>river
Oh you are most welcome :P :)
>>seashells
Hahaha. Optimist!
>>me
Wow are you for real? I DONT like guys who open doors for me, want to pay for everything, pull chairs(whats that about?). Girls want all that and then want equality! Bloddy naive.
Dont mix two different issues however. We are talking about street harassment here. Unless you have had your crotch squeezed almost everyday, given annoying lectures about morality and dress code for women...you wouldnt know. And what the hell, are you telling me that ALL women dont treat men with respect? As for your 'inflexibility', I dont completely disagree with it. It is subjective however. In my case, I dont want any fucking women reservation coming my way, no thank you.
>>psb
Oh movie theatres are horrible! Just standing in queues for tickets is hell sometimes! Well, the only other place I have lived in is France. And I can say that street harassment is NOT rampant here. The society has other issues obviously, but street harassment NO. Unless its some guy from the Indian subcontinent(yes this has happened to me in paris)...Also, its not just about sex starvation in India. It is also this mindset...that it doesnt hurt women..she is asking for it..its just one of the many ways to 'profess love'... Fuck, disgusting.
Scary run in with the rickshaw guy..dayum...
cheers
z
I was grumpy... my workout was bad, I broke the gym door, I broke my car keys, and it was fucking RAINING!!! I HATE RAIN!! I loathe it. Und yes... I DO get my butt pinched a lot, which does get rather annoying...
I say Kill em All .. we can do without a few People.
KILL EM ALL
It's a sordid state of affairs which quite sucks! I'm sorry, but a large number of my fellow gender are just bastards!
the problem is that not every person on the street will take it upon themselves to set the sob straight...a friend mentioned something about distributed responsibility...when in a large crowd, each person tends to assign lesser moral responsibility to do something about anything...thinking that someone else will do something about it and so s/he can sit back...thats the fucking problem...each thinking s/he doesn't have a whip in hand that can be cracked...
hey...god that sucks...i mean...MEN suck...i really hate them!!!...desperate bastards... *sigh* ...anyways...yeah bangalore sucks!!!!...i was in love with this place...but its sad...to see what its become... :(
and we will not perish without speaking out loud.
wish you strength.
How has it been for you in France?
You girls are not alone.
This was actually meant for my blog which I haven't yet written for lack of time but I would give a prelude. So stop laughing and think about the times..they're a changing.
I am currently in Germany and was waiting for a train when this guy comes to me after about 5 mins of ogling(man! i cannot believe I am using this word on me), and says...(to be metioned in the blog).
I asked him to fuck off and then the hero comes..a policeman! He takes him away and I can't stop laughing.
I have always been for the rights of gays but this reality check has made me thinking, not about their desired societal freedom but that indeed, the times are changing!
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